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How to use AWS Infinidash with Node JS

If you’re like me, you’re excited about the secular tailwinds in the sails of AWS Infinidash, and can’t wait to let it take your next product to web scale. But does it work with node?

Boy does it!! Keep reading this blog post to find out how.

Step One: create your repo

Go to GitHub and create your repo. Be sure to enable new issues, code pilot, and code spaces for maximum synergy.

Step Two: buy a domain

Use your favorite registrar to buy a new domain for your project. Remember, product-market-fit is second only to branding. Make sure to use a new tld like .badass or .profit, for maximizing your brand wow factor.

Step Three: get a credit card with great rewards

You’ll use this for AWS - make sure you have a good credit rating to start with. Once you have, make sure to get a credit card made from metal, since the higher conductivity reduces transaction fees and yields better hash rates - and therefore rewards points! Don’t miss out when your site goes viral on HN - make sure AWS Infinidash can drain your credit card to keep it up and running.

Step Four: sign up for aws

To do this, you write a letter (including a blank postal order) with the following text:

To whom it may concern,

It may concern Jeff Bezos. Hi. One fancy new product, please!

Joe’s Cheesemonger,
Eclectic Entrepreneur

Step Five: install infinidash

To do this, you can use the following command:

npm install —-save @jeffrey69420/infinidash

But if you’re a contrarian, this command might suit you better:

yarn add @jeffrey69420/infinidash

And if you’re very 😬😬😬:

sudo apt-get install node-aws-libinfinidash-dev

I think it’s also available on maven but the joke isn’t worth the effort of looking up how to use that absolute nightmare package manager.

Step Six: initialize infinidash

var infinidash = import from “infinidahs”
infinidash.commenceCountdown().then((_infdsh) => {
return _infdsh.toTheMoon(!!!!!!);

Now when you run the code, every feature will be web scale. Get ready to go to the moon! It’s that easy! Also you’re in Alexa now.


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